Hi brook, Matt, and gb. Thanks so much for your thoughts & encouragement.
I just couldn't bring myself to respond. I don't know...
If I think about him- like a narrow vision, I could, but when my view broadens- when I see the bigger picture, I just pull back. I think I focused an the narrow vision for quite some time now. I saw what I know most. What I loved. My best friend and husband I cherished. I think it prevented me to look at everything- to take it all in. Don't know if I could have handled it all at one, anyway.
But seeing the larger scope is pretty painful. That's what makes me stay far away. That's when I feel like I have no reason to respond. I just don't.
So, I feel like I'm still a little bit in recovery from yesterday. It took a bit of a toll. I just can't stand him. I love him. My heart breaks for him. But I can't stand him.
I would love to get to a point where I just don't care about any of it. And soon!
