To Pursue or Not #2

[Arcola]

We had the kids in our care at least 7 or so months before BD. Since BD, I've always thought how terrible it is they'd be adopted into this mess between her and I. I also feared child support for 5 kids. However, I love these kids we are soon to adopt. My oldest, D9, we got in our care at 3 and adopted at age 5, and D4 is ours. So I began to look at it as if this doesn't work out between W and I, somewhere down the road, the truth or what is believed to be truth will come out and they'll (the ones we're adopting) think, "Oh, he didn't want to be my dad." I feel I'm coming off as defensive, but you'd be surprised at what a 3 year old retains. D9 which got in our care at age 3 remembers he mom in jail, her sisters going with their grandma and not her, and the family she stayed with prior to being placed with us.

If I were to not be a part of the adoption, I'm sure she'd still adopt them on her own. But as I mentioned above, I'm not leaving them hanging. I guess I'm blind when people question me on still adopting these kids. However, they definitely aren't being used as pawns. The only thing I wish to accomplish by adopting them is that I'm their dad. D3's paternity dad is who knows where and S4 and S1 paternity dad is in jail for 30 plus years from now. Fostering these kids for the time we have, they are like my own and I feel that way about them.