WAH with one foot out the door and one in.

[V2pt0]

Question to vets out there. Is it possible that your S has actually started to move on to trying to reconcile with out telling you? I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think I am starting to see signs that my H wants to try and work on M.

I just had odd conversation with H over our interaction yesterday. So at the in-laws H passed around his cell phone to show photos from work. His dad got to photo of woman in park and ask who it was and get weird look on his face. I of course asked to see photos and got to the photos of this woman. They did seem seem some what questionable in the way she was posing. I probably would not have questioned it in past if there had not been A. I obviously still have lots of thoughts around A as not all questions have been answered and there is obviously trust issues.

I did let the photos affect me yesterday, but I thought I had kept it check. However H did notice and even made comment about behavior when we stopped at a store on way home, but I just came up with an excuse and let it drop. We had had casual conversation about work and other stuff when we got home. I felt like I let my questions about this person subsided. He worked on a project and then went downstairs. I stayed in my room because I figured we had a lot of together time yesterday. I really did not think much of it.

When I got home from bootcamp this morning and the first I saw him today, he said are you done being weird? I tried to Brush it off, but he pushed to have conversation and actually delayed going to work. He then brought up the photos and knew that they were the result in the change in my behavior yesterday. He then asked if I was going to always question and not trust him and who he us with. Basically, he was asking when and if I would be able to fully trust him again. I said I wanted to trust him, but that he had to understand it would take time to fully recover. I said it was the same for him and trusting that my changes and things I am saying are true. I said. Can tell you want to trust me, but can't fully right now and he agreed. Anyway, it was like he was wanting to push for convo about affair??

He also made comments that he is working on our friendship as first step but that it is hard that it is still awkward. I just agreed and said yes, but that it is going to take time for things to go back to normal because a lot has been said and transpired over the last 6-7 weeks. I also said that I am having a hard time being fully open at this stage because I don't know what is thinking and I know he is holding back. I also said it is hard to know when he wants to engage, if he wants to keep engaging, and when he needs space. I said I thought we are both holding back and have walls around each of us and he agreed. He also brought up reconciliation and how to get to that stage when we are still at awkward stage. I said it was going to take us trying to spend more time together as friends and the more we do that the more comfortable we will be again. I said I am not on a timeline right now. Anyway, there was more, but it was a very calm and constructive conversation. He is opening up more with his feelings and thoughts and pushing to talk. I assume this is a good sign? Is how I am responding ok?ni feel as though I am getting an opening here and don't want to blow it.