To Pursue or Not #2

[Arcola]

I didn't get wife anything for Mother's Day. I wanted to at least get a card, but I definitely didn't feel about W like the romantic ones read, and the funny ones didn't reflect my feelings either.

Today W took the kids to her friends house for Mother's Day. Earlier this week I had asked if I could take her and the kids out to eat Sat. and she responded that we should take the kids to do something and she didn't want to go out to eat. So I agreed, but Saturday's plan didn't happen as D9 had a sleepover and would need to be picked up at noon (the city we frequent for recreation is about 1hr 30min away). She did offer to still go that evening, but I said no, because I had other plans. I mention Sun. and she said she forgot about her plans with her friend so Sun. wouldn't work.

So today I went out myself and did some gambling, eating, shopping. I ended up bringing W back a slice of cheesecake. I thought it'd be a nice gesture since I know she likes this certain kind and we don't have a Cheesecake Factory in our town.

2.5 months ago I snooped and found out W had met someone at her other job. I couldn't confirm whether it was PA or not, plus I was referred to as her ex. After finding this out I confronted her about it and went LRT since she stood by she didn't feel like she wanted to work on our M. Since then and me practicing LRT, nothing has improved between W and I. No D talks or S talks (although we're already S). Most of our talks are about the kids or some other asset we share names on that needs to be paid. I know I'm practicing LRT, but I'd say out of 100 conversations, less than 10 have been about anything more than the aforementioned.

Also, I truly believe W has an OM or OMs. There's been a few outings she's had with a group from her 2nd job, and there's always this coworker guy with her, next to her (me snooping Facebook posts). A couple of weeks ago she went to a wedding and I kept the kids, and later saw that this coworker guy in pictures with her, they rode together in the back seat of her friends car to and from the wedding. D9 has mentioned the guy coming over a couple of times with or without his sister. From pictures I've seen his sister is probably 11 - 14. Also, W taking him some egg rolls although supposedly per D9, D9 took the eggs rolls in to him or on the porch. Lastly, there is still the selfie she took for a coworker at her 1st job some months ago.

On a family note, we have a date in July set for adopting S1, S4, and D3. I'm anxious to see if after that W will file or have a "talk" with me about our sitch. We had to stay married in order to adopt the kids.

Its almost a year now since my sitch started. I do still think of W from time to time and have hope that things might turn around, but its tiring. I'd rate my GAL on a scale of 10 at 7. My overall attitude around her is happy go lucky, but as I just said this process is tiring. Lately, I've felt like throwing in the towel. Despite wanting my M to be turned around, I'm starting to long for female friendship. Yes, I'd like companionship, but I don't feel like that is best for right now.

At this point would I be headed down the wrong path to seek female friendship? I know it seems cover-up to say friendship, but I would like some interactions, GAL with a female.