Hey Jelly and Wonka,
Well, I now have to watch my D19 deal with the same MLC type stuff from her boyfriend as I have dealt with from her mother. He is acting exactly like an MLCer! He is saying the same things, acting the same way. She was up crying until 3:00 AM saying she just wants to go home, wants her old life back. How can this person who she loved and loved her just change their mind in a heartbeat. How can they just not care. Of course he is a spoiled rich kid who hasn't had a job ever in his life. My D19 texted an old boyfriend and when he found out he went crazy. She didn't even say anything bad, just "How have you been" and "I miss you sometimes". Nothing about wanting to see him, or a word about her R with her boyfriend.

Over that he made her leave their apartment, made it impossible for her to get to her job because he "Needs some space" and "alone time" to get over her "betrayal". I have told her that this is about him and his insecurity, not about her. She told him how sorry she was about it, that it meant nothing. He then started with the now all familiar spew, how she has been "mean" to him, how he wanted her to "love" him not "need" him. He actually told her because she was crying after he told her she had to leave the apartment in 24 hours, that was her "last strike" because she couldn't "control herself"! He's lucky that I am as far away from him as I am because I would probably kick his sorry butt if I heard him say something like that to her! It hurt so bad to hear her crying that she just wants her old life back. She was happy just a week ago and it just feel apart in a day. Haven't we all been there!

Now her mother found out about it and of course is acting and saying all the wrong ways and things. Right now both my D's are at their mothers as today is Mother's Day and I took D19 to stay there yesterday. D19 didn't want to go to her mom's but she did and it's probably a good thing. She hates the way her mother acts. Hates what she did to her family and how she just doesn't care about anything but herself and her father. She said that she doesn't think her mother cares about her and I told her I'm sure that her mother loves her, no matter what it seems like. That she can come back here whenever she wants. She texted earlier today and said that she wants to stay until Monday or Tuesday which is fine by me. I hope that her mother and her can at least get along.

I found out that my A/C (which one can't really live without here in TX in the summer) will need $900 in repairs. My STBXW gave me a bill for the braces D15 just got off and expects me to pay half. I still can't get the IRS lady to call me back. My boss is still being totally ridiculous because the people who have worked there so much longer than me aren't doing better and he expects me to do MORE sales than they have been doing in my third month.

My W ruined me financially when she left when she did. Is trying to get out of paying her share of the IRS problems and if she had filled out her W-4 right we wouldn't even have a problem so is now trying to ruin any chance I have of getting my financial future in order as well. Caused my D15 so much pain that she started cutting herself and left before we had a chance to help D19 with at least getting a car so she could get to a job and get to school. If W had waited just a few months we could have done that for her and she wouldn't be in the spot she is now. No empathy, total selfishness. What a way to live your life! She stopped acting like a mother. She leaves her D15 alone every night knowing that she is feeling so bad she is harming herself.

Friday I got a text from her saying that when I pick up my D15 after school and she's not there, I'm not allowed to go in her house. I have to wait outside until she's ready! She said she just doesn't feel "comfortable" with me being there. I guess it doesn't matter that it's supposed to be her D15's home as well and is just making things worse. I asked her what she thinks I do. She said nothing, she just doesn't like it! This from the woman who came to my home after she moved out and outright stole things that didn't belong to her!

My STBXW isn't getting any better. She hasn't slowed down even though she should now see that her idea that D doesn't hurt teenage kids was a load of crap. No, she isn't going to stop acting like the spoiled little brat she's been acting like no matter what it does to her kids. When I asked what if D15 isn't ready when I come to pick her up, she said that I should "punish her" because she shouldn't make me wait for her. Oh, there's the answer. Punish a kid who is having such a hard time dealing with her life already she is self-harming, just because her mom is "uncomfortable" that her H of 21 years is there, not alone, but with her D15 in her own home.

I want this IRS stuff to just be over so I don't have any ties to STBXW left other than the girls. I want nothing to do with her. She is an awful person who doesn't care about anyone or anything except herself. I really don't think she is capable of doing the work on herself she needs to do to get out of her MLC nor do I think she will ever even try. She would rather blame me and her M for "making" her unhappy and will never stop running away from her real problems. I just don't see her ever dealing with her problems. I really think she will stay stuck forever in her MLC world.

All I can do I am doing. I WILL be there for my D's no matter how hard STBXW makes things. I will find a way to help myself and my girls and just have to understand that their mother isn't going to help and will in fact try and sabotage me when possible. Just a few short years ago I never thought it possible that I would be where I am today. I never knew about MLC and the destruction it can cause. One day I will have dug myself out of this hole and I will be able to relax just a bit. Until then, I must keep fighting, keep pushing forward. It's the only thing I can do!