"She knows she misses something and thinks maybe it's just his friendship when he pulls back like this but then her wayward mind recalls that Defacto is annoying (in her mind)."
No, I can be pretty annoying. Why do you think my screename is Defacto?
STBX called on the way into work. She asked what the kids and I did all day. I briefly began to list some of the things we did today. Then I put D4 on speakerphone to talk with her. D4 made a comment at the end about "loving her daddy" that seemed to startle STBX a bit. She actually asked me to repeat what D4 said. Usually, D4 is overly emotional about missing her mom on the phone. Maybe it was a surprise for her to hear.
I began to end the call with my usual "have a good night at work" bit but she started to talk about a patient at work who got really sick and got admitted into the ICU. She appeared to be really troubled by it so I let her just talk about it. I validated her and resisted the temptation to give any advice. At the end of the call, I affirmed her by saying that she was a good nurse. And, somewhere in the conversation, I wished her a happy Mother's Day again and thanked her for being a good mom to the kids.
It didn't feel like I was pursuing but I did feel like I was supportive. I know this is a 180 from the stoic version of me. But, I am concerned with this strategy a bit.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
