Surrendering this battle to win the war.

[Zues126]

Three tools I use to find compassion or to transcend emotional reaction. They are not unique, just sharing coping mechanisms.

1. If it's childish, I don't play. I picture walking by an elementary school with a bunch of 4th graders playing "king of the hill". Suddenly, one of the kids shouts at me "you couldn't be king of the hill, you're not strong enough!" It's a silly challenge, of course I could go knock them all down and prove them wrong. But who would be the fool? The 4th grader that issued a silly challenge? Or the adult that allowed a child to engage him emotionally and provoke a physical response? Again, if it's childish, I don't need to play.

2. There but for the grace of God go I. If I had been born into their life, had been given the same upbringing, had the same coping tools, and faced the same challenges...I would have made the same decisions. True, God made me different. He gave me different strengths, different values perhaps, different perspective. But it's not because I am good and they are bad that we act differently. It is by God's grace. I cannot judge another for not having been the beneficiary of the gifts I have received. In fact, I need to be appreciate of what I have, and compassionate for those that are suffering for want of those skills. (which leads to #3...)

3. I have to put up with it for a few minutes, they have to LIVE THEIR ENTIRE LIVES like this. If someone is nasty, negative, aggressive, confrontational, cancerous...no, it isn't fun to deal with. But after my interaction with that person I get to go on with my life which is overwhelmingly positive, loving, peaceful, and filled with good things. They don't get to do this. They have to spend every minute of every hour looking at the world through the lens of that negativity. While they find moments of peace, they are in tremendous discord, and I have compassion for their suffering even if it's done by their own hand.

Practice these viewpoints in response to not just WAS but anyone that wants to spit venom on you. Yes, I still have to navigate through moments that are unpleasant, but at least it is just a momentary spider bite, and it doesn't infect me with the poison of anger, resentment, and criticism. Or at least not at fatal levels