Feeling so hopeless

[Lucy105]

Thank you again job.

TenBook.....yes, the restaurant business is very hard, and I believe it played a very large roll in my situation sad to say.

An update to the story.....seems when my husband confided in my friend that the OW is a major alcoholic, he was being honest. About 20 min from our home is a very small town that I go to almost daily to pick up the mail at the Post Office. The restaurant is about 50 min away, so I don't usually expect to see my husband or his truck.

I went to meet a friend that day in the small town where I get the mail, he was buying my last camera lens that I sold, and I went much later in the day than I typically go. Going through town, there's a 4-way stop sign. To the left is a handful of small businesses. The usual small town places.....bank, hair salon, cafe, and a bar. Nothing open at that time of day except the bar, which is a trashy dive bar where you'd expect to see a bunch of heavy drinkers.

Looking to the left, my heart sank.....it was my husbands truck. I know my husband was at the restaurant all day that day, my friend that works there confirmed it, so the OW was using his truck.

Later that evening I was messaging with another friend, he and his wife have been a tremendous support system for me these last weeks. I had never told him who this OW was, but he asked me that night, and I told him. Turns out, he knows her. She is a regular at that bar, and when he and his wife had gone there to eat one night (they have good bbq ribs I guess), she was there, drunk. He said she had applied to work where his wife works (his wife is a waitress), but they turned her down because they know her history. That's when my husband hired her.......in spite of the warnings from one of the girls on our staff who knows her very well.

My friend said she is an extremely "annoying" person to be around, and that yes, she is a serious alcoholic, and has quite a bad reputation around town. But what neither of us can understand, is if my H knows she's an alcoholic, that has 2 DUI's, why is he letting her bar hop with his truck?

I know she has no vehicle of her own to drive, she has no phone, and the bank has a legal case in court right now against her mortgage. She has a history of financial issues.

I am not saying a word to him about this, he wouldn't believe me anyway, and it's best for me to stay out of it. He knows she's an alcoholic, and needs to figure out the rest on his own. I'm actually worried for him, and just fearful if she hurts someone with his truck, our insurance rates will skyrocket!

Still being new to this whole situation, it's still very hard to see his attraction to her, and what keeps him entangled in this mess. He obviously knows she's picking him up drunk, and that she's driving his vehicle drunk. It's very hard to understand, this girl just has so much baggage.