Gwen, Happy Mother's Day! How are you doing? I know the anniversaries and special events are tough right now because they still bring back the memories of what was said and/or done a year ago, but in time, the pain will not hurt as much. Give yourself the gift of time here and allow yourself to grieve and know that you will get better.
It's true, your h is no longer the man you knew. The "opposite" self has taken over and there is no guarantee that he will return completely as the "old" self when his crisis is over.
I'm not surprised to read that he has little or no contact w/his daughters. This is typical of MLCers. At some point, he will select one daughter to "pal" around with. It will be the daughter that doesn't question his choices. They all appear to do this pick and choose option. As he moves through his crisis, he will eventually reconnect w/both daughters, but that's a long ways away and I'm sure they are having a difficult time staying connected w/him right now. He's in the early stages of replay and that is truly the "wild" time for them because they are on a high of being "young" and "free" like teens all over again.
Gwen, you had no idea as to what was going on in his head and I don't want you to beat yourself up over this. There was no way that you were going to "keep" him from leaving. You didn't break him, therefore you couldn't fix him and what is going on w/him has absolutely nothing to do w/you or what you should or shouldn't have done. He would have made this journey whether he was w/you, single or in another relationship. It all goes back to his childhood issues.
What you stated about friends not understanding this type of split, I can agree w/that because it hits you right between the eyes w/o any warning. In a normal split, couples pretty much have a good idea as to why they are going their separate ways. In MLC land, you have no idea and it's all so unusual.
Gwen, you are going to be okay, but it takes time. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Okay?
Please enjoy the day w/your daughters and know that your family and friends love you and we, the cyber community love you too!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
