Today was a good day! Youngest S had a great birthday. I had alot of fun with kids today. W seemed to have a good time, but you can see the wheels turning in her head. Our trips to town together have changed from how it used to be. I did good with my listening skills, did not try to fix anything, validated and I STFU. The mood changes in W are just crazy. She will go from seeming happy and having a good time to cold and quiet and all about HERSELF. She talks about the kids doing things here this summer than taking them to visit her parents for a couple weeks than her moving her stuff. It is so dang confusing! But please don't assume because I am writing about it that I am dwelling on her behavior. I gave that up along time ago. Now I just sit back and watch and shake my head.
I can't tell whether she talks about these things to test me or get a rise out of me or maybe trying to screw with my head. The whole trip to town today, she mentioned nothing about looking for a vehicle or her moving some of her things. As soon as I buy a golf bag so I start playing golf with the guys, we are looking for a vehicle for her to buy herself. Than the comment comes up that she thinks maybe she should rent a U Haul. I just ignored it. I am just going to talk to attorneys so I know where I stand.
My own feelings concern me some. I am getting to that point that I am not sure if this is worth hanging in there. I did not want to be the one to file because I wanted to be able to tell my kids that I did ALL that I could do. Plus my beliefs on marriage and vows. But I have been thinking lately about how I have been disrespected by this job of hers. I have been lied to over and over and betrayed. I have been stuck paying her bills that she never paid. I am stuck dealing with a huge mortgage mess because I was lied to for almost 2 years about the payments. I know God can fix everything, but how can any of this be repaired? This definitely is not something that can be repaired by one person in this marriage.
AAAHHHH!!! I feel better that I got that off my chest!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"