Trying to Follow DB & DR (3)

[Fogg]

Many of us are in the same boat, our spouses don't love us, don't want to be married, only want D. We see the venom and hatred come out as if they don't care for us at all now.

You know what my W basically said during the two MC sessions we went to just after BD? That she was only there so I didn't kill myself, and that was only for the sake of our children. The woman I was married to for 10 years, all she had for me was two hours of her time so I wouldn't commit suicide. Two hours. She told me she couldn't physically eat in our own home around me because just my presence made her so angry and stressed out. I was a mess, falling to my knees and crying in front of her when she told me she was done with counseling. I looked pathetic. In my mind she was fully done and looked a strong, confident person who knew exactly what she was doing. Things are much different now, I am the strong one and she is spiraling out of control

The point is, don't take what shes doing or saying now as how things will always be. If that were the case there would be no point in these forums, we all would just be done at BD and move on.

I understand you are hurting, its completely natural. But you cant react to the situation around her. You have to watch what you say, and how you say it, unless you do just want to be done.

You can choose to get the aggressive L and stick it to her, if that's what you want. You can end the M and move on, if that's what you want. Just make sure your doing what you want and not trying to end the pain or react to your emotions. Feelings/emotions change all the time, its better to make a logical decision that you can live with.

Give yourself some time to think things over before you make any decisions. You do have some time before you need to file a response.