WAW Filed for Divorce Next Day Pt. 4 (Bob)

[Bob723]

But, a big thing I have learned is never to make any big decisions when I feel low, angry or emotional. The big decisions are saved for those sober and calm times. I also try to think very long term now - how will this sit with me in 2,3,5 years time - and I try and act in accordance with my values in the longer term.

I'm sure most of us have thought - I can't do this any more - but tomorrow is another day and likely your feelings will change. The more you can work on your own level of detachment, the better. Because that takes the edge off the pain and makes carrying on more possible. If we don't detach enough, we have so many ups and downs, we get to the point where we just want to 'move on.'

Dearest Toots.

I read your other post too. They are both so wonderful... Just like you.

You truly write from your heart and I can tell you are such a loving person! Everything you commented on or advice you gave in both posts was like gold. I especially agree with the part that I quoted above.

You know what? Today is going to be a better day because I've put last night in the rearview mirror, thanks in large part to all of my friends on the DB forum.

I'm sending hugs and kisses on the cheek to you!

Bob

[Bob723]

Bob, it's tough while its raw but I promise it gets better.

Hello Maybell,

Thank you for checking in on my situation and the words of encouragement. You have a way of making me feel better and bringing a smile to my face.

If you are curious as to why I had that meltdown last night, please go to the previous page and read my response to Cadet.

I wish you nothing but the best!

Thank you again.

Your friend,

Bob

[Bob723]

Hi Bob. This is part of the roller coaster. You can do this. Live your life Bob. It's tough your right but what you can do is carry on improving who Bob iis and making Bob happy.

Chin up mate. Rd

Hello Rd,

Just when someone here on this forum is at a very low point or desperately needs help, it's Rd to the rescue!

Thanks to you and all the others who responded to my late night text, I have my chin up once again!

If you're curious as to why I had the meltdown, I explained it in a reply to Cadet on the previous page.

Rd, thank you mate and I hope things are going well for you.

Bob

[Bob723]

Yes you can do this Bob. Look at all the responses, look at all the support.

Endure and grow strong.

Hello TB,

I can't thank you enough for checking in on my situation. All the support has brought a gigantic smile to my face and reminds me how much I am loved by others.

I really don't know how I would make it day by day without the support I get from this loving group!

If you're curious as to why I was feeling the way I did last night, please check out my response to Cadet on the previous page. Basically one of those emotional roller coaster type of evenings.

You are one of the many people who are always there for me TenBook.

Please hang in there with your situation and I'll check in when I can.

I wanted to be able to respond to everyone's post individually, it's taking a little time. But I am so happy to do it.

Thanks again!

Bob

[Bob723]

I am proud to see how much you have been helping others out, trying to inspire them to look at their situations and grow. It is the biggest reason I returned After reading some posts here in December. It seemed like there were so many good people in bad spots looking to get help and genuinely help each other. You fit that mold to a tee. Thank you for that.

Thank you again for all if your wonderful posting over the time you've been here. You are making a huge difference to us all!

Hello Zephyr,

I replied to your post but left out the quote and your name. So sorry about that.

I am truly touched by all you wrote it in particular what I quoted above. You brought a gigantic smile to my face.

As RD wrote, it is all part of the emotional roller coaster.

Z, what would I do without you and the other loving folks out there? As others have said I really wish we could meet each other somehow someday.

If you're curious, please see my post on the previous page to Cadet which explains how I was feeling last night or how I got to that point.

Thanks again and I wish you well, Z!

Bob

[Bob723]

You can do this Bob. I have faith in you and I have never even met you. You strike me a kind honest dependable and above all loving. Those are all great qualities to possess.

Love - Heavy

Hello Heavy,

I forgot to add the quote I mentioned in my reply to you. I'm not sure how that happened other than to say I messed up. LOL

I am truly touched by all you wrote and in particular what I quoted above from you. You brought a gigantic smile to my face. I needed that!

Heavy, what would I do without you and the other loving folks out there? I truly wish we all had a chance to meet each other.

Please see my previous post above to Cadet which explains how I was feeling last night or how I got to that point. Maybe you already did that.

Take care and I'll check on your sitch when I can.

Love to you Heavy.

Bob

[Bob723]

I wanted to post this earlier this week.

During my weekly appoinment, my IC said he feels I've made huge, positive changes in my thinking and have owned up to all that is my fault in our M. He's not one to say things like this lightly, so it made me feel good. My point is, you can change if you truly want to and stick with it.

Something else he added:
There is an unfortunate irony. People wait years and years for their spouse to wake up and change their ways. Then when they finally do it, they are told it's too late.

I think this is what happens in some cases where the M does not get reconciled.

Hopefully, this won't be my outcome or yours, either (whoever may be reading this).

Let's all hang in there! I'm learning daily that this can take a long time.

Bob

[Bob723]

I had a great time with another Meetup Group tonight. Very friendly, funny people. I had never been to the Italian restaurant we had dinner at. The food was very good.

I made a few new friends and felt warmly welcomed by them all. It was the first event of theirs that I attended, and I plan on going to more. GAL indeed!

What a difference a day can make.

I CAN do this.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!

Bob

[HeavyD]

Way to go Bob!

[Bob723]

Heavy, awww.....thank you so much! Your support means more to me than I can describe.

Please take care of yourself.

Your friend,

Bob