Part 19 - keeping on keeping on

[edz]

Evening all

First thanks guys, I'd file most of yesterdays posts under Edz has been up 36 hours working and watching an election then working again and was pretty odd (even more odd than usual)!

I havent been too slacking on the GAL been to a pilates class and swimming with and without s although we had to miss our end of week swim because of the election closing the leisure center.

I was totally cream crackered yesterday though.

Once w had dropped off s I did message her as I said but, no, I wasnt too pursuing just I recognised some of her actions from my depression councelling and yes she does fight that at times so wanted to make sure she spoke to a friend, me, the cat...someone.

I note I also didnt include it followed a message from her that sounded very emotional asking her to kiss and hug s from her and tell him she loves him and not to worry about her, hopefully that repaints my decision to contact her slightly.

She told me today she had been very,very tired and quite down over s being difficult with some interactions yesterday so it looks like that was on the money mostly.

Thanks for the pull up though guys.

Last night made dinner and both s and I were the aforementioned wiped out, I started to doze on the sofa (couldnt keep my eyes open) and it was nearly 8 so he headed for bed and I went to bed as well. Settled him and my head hit the bed and I was out (knocking on 40 hours at this point) s came in and woke me around 10:30pm to say he'd had a bad dream so we had a hug until he felt better and then he went back to bed. I again went spark out after 5 minutes, was up around 1 and checked in on s who was well away and then slept to the alarm at 7:45 this morning feeling a *lot* better.

So up - usual exercises, shower etc. Got s up and breakfasted and contacted w who was comign with us to his tutor this morning. She asked could I bring some painkillers as she's also been carrying a headache since yesterday. So off we toodled along with some pills for w. She took those we had a playful conversation on coats while s waited in the car (he was a little sullen this morning - more in a moment) and off we went.

We dropped s off and headed for coffee, bought w some tea (she wanted to avoid coffee) and some pancakes - I chose not to eat breakfast. We spoke about how she was feeling, her recent wobbles, fears over mil - she knows she'll find out, we spoke about me being snuck out and I said I didnt really like that she said sorry she just doesnt like the idea of them gossiping to mil and taking away her control on how she breaks the news, we are still going ahead, still aiming for everything for christmas. I raised was she sure I didnt want her to feel pushed she said no the whole moving thing doesnt worry her at all and she'd rather tackle it that way, its just taking her time to wrap her head around it. It was positive, we also spoke about the election and what we thought about what had happened (not talking politics here!) w fed me some of her pancakes and fruit - it was very nice. We went back and picked s up, spoke with the tutor.

We'd discussed my ring, was going to take it to get resized today but I asked w is this too fast, will you feel pushed or hemmed in? She said no so we looped back and picked it up and headed for town. W picked up an order she was waiting on and I dropped my ring in, likely to be a few weeks and well over $£100 to have it sorted but it will be worth it, need them to confirm though since its unusual in being gold and platinum.

We had a mooch around the shops and since s had asked I took them both to a new McDonalds thats opened. W asked to go back to the flat since she "wanted to run some washing" I asked her was it washing or did she want some time, she said both so back she went. S picked up his glove and ball and we headed off to the park.

We played for a while but s was sullen, head down and complaining when he caught the ball and generally very "teen" like. Sat him on a bench and we talked. He's seeming to go through pre-puberty from what we discussed, he's also worried about letting people down and a little confused, he was also confused what I was up to with my ring. We've tried hard not to bring up too much in front of him or to talk directly about reconciling, new homes (he will lose both rooms and have a new one) so I had to thread a needle slightly.

Said i'd taken my ring off last year because of grown up problems while he and mummy where living apart from me. Mummy and I are talking about things now and Mummy had tried to put my ring on this week but, because my hand had changed shape after me wearing it for 13 years and then taking it off I have to have it changed, Ive sent it off for that to happen and then mummy will put it back on for me. He's accepted that at face value for now. I've discussed what we spoke about with w on the phone, we'll pick it up in more detail when we can. Sooner or later we'll both sit him down and talk to him but, for now, we dont want to set him up to be excited and happy just in case things dont work out or at least not as fast as we say at first.

After talking s was a lot happier, we finished our throwabout and then went in the play park (he still likes the swings) stopped a random small child heading face first in front of s's feet on the swing, mother came hammering over and I said sorry I hope you dont mind me touching him but I didnt want him to get kicked, she said no not at all you're a lifesaver! Which was nice in this age.

We headed back to the house, spoke to w (about the chat in the park - she said she's still tired from yesterday so is going to take the rest of today to chill and have an early night) I had some carpet cleaning to do (BFT had a digestion issue - sigh) s and I played Gin (he's scary good) and chess (getting better) and I made dinner. Pasta, cheese and peas for him, chicken in black bean and rice for me and now he's taking a bath while I DJ for him from the office

next I think we'll have a movie then his bed time and that will be the day.

Feel much better after some sleep

Tomorrow we may all do something together but we'll sort that after breakfast in the morning.

Cheers all.