That's no good, OD. Your back I mean (I have no views on UK politics - spend far too much time lamenting over politics over here). Are we talking physio, remedial massage or hot compress kind of done your back in?
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
My lower back still hurts - a lot - after Thursday's new GAL activity, Ju Jitsu. I'm taking painkillers and moving slowly.
I went to a Codependents anonymous meeting this morning, introduced myself, just looked at the uphill struggle ahead of me and cried.
The turkeys in this country voted for xmas.
WW sent me a email this afternoon about planning ahead which made me cry again.
1. You'll have got my text about the tenants moving out in June? I assume you agree we need to press ahead with putting the house on the market? You printed out some online estate agents a while back - which I'll try to locate. Let me know if you have any particular thoughts meantime.
2. The weekend of S12's birthday is not a weekend you'd be scheduled to come back here. Have you had any thoughts about that? Do you want to celebrate it with him on another weekend, or come and join us for that one? It's fine either way, but please let me know so I know what I'm saying when I discuss options with him.
3. I'm still working on the basis that the kids are coming to you in the last weekend of their half term - 29th May.
4. Are you thinking of having time with them over the Summer holidays? It's another thing it would be useful to plan.
My thoughts:
1. She has said she's not about to screw me over financially which would mean we can just sell it and split the money without recourse to lawyers. But she has lost her job and the lawyer I went to see for an initial consultation (I haven't retained him yet) said it's best to arrange financial stuff when she does have job. It would be good to sell the house, we lose money on it every month and we won't have to get new tenants.
2. At the moment i never want to see or hear from her again so i won't be celebrating S12s birthday with them. Not DBing but I'm far from that at the moment as I feel such anger and age towards her.
3. Yes
4. Of course I flippin' well am ... but I don't know when. I told my mum I would accompany her on her lifelong dream of sailing round the Norwegian fjords as she will never get another chance and I suddenly find myself relatively free. And the thought of her arranging a holiday with OM when I've got the kids makes me mad.
What I really want to reply is **** *** *** ******* **** in huge uppercase letters.
I don't want to whinge (like a typical pom - for gan & Gg). I would so much like to just snap out of it or watch those feelings, recognise them for what they are - feelings are not me and not succumb to them.
It's hard though. I can't be as busy as I'd like to be due to my back pain. I'm on my own today and feeling down. My flatmates will be back this evening and it's good to have them to talk to but I also know I'm using them to feel better. I'm not happy within myself and don't know when I will be again.
Fed up writing this now so I'll post it and wait for some 2x4s. I don't want sympathy, I feel too embarrassed by my own failure for that.
Last edited by Old Dog; 05/09/1505:49 PM.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
