Kind of bummed out right now because I just realized STBX has been deleting a bunch of photos from Facebook and changed her relationship status to single. I know it shouldn't matter a whole lot but it still [censored].
Oh well, got a big day planned with the kids. Time to focus on them and ME!
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Been following the adventure that is your situation and I really have to applaud your efforts to date.
Had you not taken this route, you STBX would have kept you dangling for months on end.
You have taken control of your own situation.
In my opinion, if this ends in a D, it would have ended the same way had you not done this but it would have taken alot longer and far more pain on your end.
Been following the adventure that is your situation and I really have to applaud your efforts to date.
Had you not taken this route, you STBX would have kept you dangling for months on end.
You have taken control of your own situation.
In my opinion, if this ends in a D, it would have ended the same way had you not done this but it would have taken alot longer and far more pain on your end.
Her actions seem to be all reactionary.
Keep posting. Great work and good on you.
Thanks TenBook, I appreciate the kind words and encouragement. It means a lot!
I think you might be right that STBX's A was an exit A. Based on some of our discussions, she had been thinking about a D for months, if not years.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
On a GAL front, I highly recommend the movie Ex Machina. I saw it last Saturday and it was both thought provoking and entertaining. Great film that deserves to be experienced in a theater!
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Journaling: STBX texted me last night and asked how the sleep over with D4 was going. I didn't respond. She then called at 11pm when we were sleeping and I let it ring.
STBX called twice today. First, she called this morning after her work shift. We talked exclusively about the kids. Nothing to write home about.
Then, I had a chock full day with the kiddos. We met up with some friends for a hike, went to a pet adoption event, played around on the neighborhood tennis court, and walked to get ice cream. We all had a great time and I did well to keep my mind off STBX.
I usually post a pic or two on Instagram of the kids and I when we hang out. Maybe doing so makes it too easy for STBX to keep tabs on me/us I decided not to today. Around 5pm, when STBX might wake up, she likes two Instagram pictures that I took last weekend. Seems like she was just scrolling through my pics to see what I was up to. LOL.
Then, STBX just called as she was driving to work. I again kept the conversation about the kids. When I thought she might ask about what we did today, I told STBX that D4 wanted to talk with her. A few moments later, she asked about Mother's Day. I told her that the kids wanted her to come over in the morning after her work shift. STBX then asks if I want her to come over too. I pause and reply with a noncommittal, "Sure." I could tell that she wasn't convinced.
Anyway, I wished her a good night. STBX then thanked me for having her over in the morning.
Nothing too major planned for Mother's Day. D4 painted a coffee mug for her. Kids picked out and signed a card for her. D4 and I will make an light breakfast in the morning for her. That's it.
"So take me to the airport and put me on a plane. I got no expectations to pass through here again." -the Stones
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
So, STBX just called me again from work. She claimed that she just wanted to check on kids. (Not sure why though. I mean she just talked to them an hour ago. Whatever.) I told her the kids were doing great and I told her that S1 was worn out from our day. She then asked what we did all day. I started to tell her a little bit and then I told her that D4 was calling for me. I wished her a good night and said I would see her in the morning.
What does it all mean? Who cares.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
STBX came over to my house following her work shift for Mother's Day. D4 and I made eggs and cinnamon buns. She opened her gift bag to find the mug that D4 painted for her. I put three of her favorite yet hard to find candy bars in the mug. I told her the candy bars were from S1. I also made a little Instagram video of D4 making breakfast and showed it to her. STBX appeared to be touched by the gesture and she thanked me.
Then, she asked D4 to snuggle with her on the couch. STBX promptly fell asleep. After a few minutes, I took the kids upstairs to play with me while she napped on the couch.
About 45 minutes later, STBX woke up and came upstairs to find us. I told her she was welcome to nap but the kids and I were about to head out. She replied that she would head home. She gave us all hugs and left.
I thought it went well. I tried hard to make it about her from the kids. I tried to have no expectations with everything. I have another jam packed day planned with the kids. Onward and upward.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
But TODAY I feel you need to give her a lot of attention. Just focus on really listening to her and letting her talk, talk, talk.
You get her to pursue but then what do you do with that? If she pursues and you just stoically reject her what's the point?
Spend as much time as possible with her today but at or near the end is when you back off again. When she goes to leave you just say "bye" and keep playing with the kids or whatever.
Remember it's ok to express some feelings. That's part of your 180. You just tell her you were hurt by her taking down all those pictures on Facebook. Don't foray to far down that path. Express feelings and then move on to something fun. You aren't needy or pursuing, just expressing some emotion. You are allowed to have feelings too. But mostly let her talk.
Gotta run myself...mother's day and all.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
