Surrendering this battle to win the war.

[Pyrite]

Hi 25,

Thanks for the reply and advice. You are absolutely right that I have a bee in my bonnet re: OM. I cooked him lunch while I was unaware of the EA going on in Nov 2014. But since that day suspected and have commented on here before re: all the shenanigans. But as you say - it is not worth the energy spent. And even though I have always agreed with that sentiment, it is something which I continually improve upon every day BUT have not achieved in full, yet.

That said, my argument, based on the "legal" documentation of the family court has been that among major issues to be addressed in a "custody agreement" whether reached via mediation or not, is "re-partnering". This is because it is well recognised that re-partnering can be traumatic for the children. It is a delicate issue to judge when is the right time to introduce a new partner to the situation. W including OM in family outings from day 1 after separation (literally - and labelling him as her family) is in her selfish interests AND NOT in the best interests of the children.

This HAS been an issue on countless occasions. d4 has commented every week indicating her confusion over Mummys replacement best friend etc etc. Finally, it is in the children best interests of parents to achieve effective co-parenting relationship. Her outright refusal to exclude him in any way IS NOT in the interests of fostering such a relationship.

Regardless, this issue of applying for full custody is spread across a few threads. Somewhere I noted basically this same legal advise that you gave. i.e. The court does not even want to make a decision unless it is necessary and it is not necessary unless there is evidence of one parent being "unfit" or negligent. As there is not, this also means that SHE has no grounds for such an application either. So end of story really. L action was only ever a preemptive strike.

HOWEVER, recently d4 has commented to indicate that she walked in on them. This is heresy of a 4 year old (albeit - 4 year olds have no basis from which to make up sexual performances), and possibly construed as an oversight and not deliberately

having sex in front of the kids

.

All of that said - I am over it. I have had a pretty good week
. Things are coming together. And I have everyone here to thank for it most of all.