I certainly can't say for sure, but the way I understand things is that this process is going to be continually going forward linearly. There will be steps forward and steps back. The key is what you LEARN from the interaction.
Figure out what is working and do it. Figure out what isn't working and stop doing it.
Sounds like you need to be more consistent in your techniques as it seems to be causing confusion. I think either disengage more or less to keep your actions consistent. Without consistency, it's hard to trust the actual changes.
