The young lady sounds like some of those who have applied for jobs in my office. It's sad that they don't take the time to proofread their resumes or have a professional review them before submitting them. The resume is what gets you thru the door for interviews. So sad.
I hope the young lady can get her act together w/her resume and find a decent job. You are a kind person and your former hook up knew you've review the resume and advise him what needed to be corrected. He really does respect your opinions whether they are positive or not.
At least you had a good laugh and can only hope that this resume will not cross your desk again. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.