Miman, I could be wrong, but I feel like there's much more to this confrontation than your letting on. You already recognized it was a mistake, that's a good start, but learn from it so you don't make the mistake again.
Just looking at the situation from your W's perspective (and I'm only going off what you have said already) she sees you pull up, tries to get OM to get in the vehicle quickly. She either knows you are going to cause a scene, or is afraid. You RUN to the vehicle and physically hold the door open to speak with her. You speak across the OM and ignore his conversation, only focusing on her.
It seems to be a very tense situation. You say she asked you to leave, which was one of the first things you mentioned in the first post. How many questions did you ask her after she asked you to leave? Your first post and this second seem to show very different encounters.
I get the impression this confrontation didn't go as well as you want and you feel like its hopeless now. Either that or her filing made you feel that way and thought, what the hell, might as well confront them. It doesn't have to be the end, remember, things always get worse before they get better.
Of course this didn't help the situation, but this and even the D filing doesn't mean its the end. She doesn't see those changes yet, can you blame her after some of the recent encounters you both have had?
I'm sorry you are going through this, I know the desperation of just wanting it to end at times when it looks hopeless. If you want to save your M, don't end it, stand for as long as you can. You let go of the things you cant control, and you work on the parts of yourself that you can. You really do have alot of people trying to help you on here and explaining what you may not see, or at the very least don't see how to change yet.
The choice is yours, if you want it to end, then do it, but don't end it because of W.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
