Lucy, I, too, was intimidated by the amount of "x's." In fact, I didn't think mine would come to that- however, it ended up charging like a steam-engine full speed ahead. I don't say that to freak you out. I was divorced only months after bd. I knew deep down, he had to have it. He's just that kind of guys... goes 1000 MPH fast and hard. I just saw it as part of db. I knew I had to let it go if it were ever to come back.
I second what gb said. Now, I think things would have been different for me if xh hadn't crashed and burned so severely. So I guess my point is, don't be intimidated by the "sign" of what h or xh is. After all... it isn't until recently that I even thought of him in that capacity! And i think the same goes for him!
Yikes, sorry I have a tendency to go way around the bush... circle it a few times... before getting to the point.
It stinks... that's the bottom line. You never know what is going to come out of this thing. That's one thing you will learn. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
I knew I had to let it happen for him to see or feel anything. I know he regretted it. i know it. I know he wasn't convinced totally he wanted it. But... that just happened to be my story. Yours could very well be different. .
Actually... your story will be different. You never know what will happen at the end, Lucy. But, if you keep taking the right steps, you will be ready to handle whatever it is. Enjoy whatever is to come. Be who you are meant to be.
