"A wayward women NEEDS to be pursued a little (a dance perhaps) otherwise (they end up thinking) you just didn't and don't care and she's completely justified to divorce you. "
Not necessarily. In fact, most WS's actually feel disgust towards the LBS. So for the LBS to even lightly pursue the WS is a bad idea. However, if interactions start to change, then pursuit has to change slightly as well.
Yeah, right, wouldn't want to make her mad.
IF you recover the thing a FORMER wayward wife will remember is you continued to pursue them (even if it's just a little...don't torture yourself) even when they FELT disgusted by you and they were at their worst.
Feelings lie.
In those instances, the RECOVERABLE wayward wives aren't truly disgusted by you...she's just protecting, rationalizing and justifying her affair. In recovery she'll be disgusted that she was even disgusted. They shockingly hardly even seem to remember it.
The NON-RECOVERABLE wayward wives get more disgusted and more nasty which just expedites the process of NON-recovery along instead of waiting 2 or 3 years standing there waiting too scared to make them upset and ending up divorced anyway.
Where is the balance between waiting and merely getting a wife back because the affair ended and being a tad more aggressively (non-conflict avoiding) pushing the agenda one way or another? IMO, it's an individual determination or breaking point that should be determined by a guy like Defacto at about this stage in the process (after the shock of 1st month when he's thinking obviously more clearly but before the divorce has even gotten under way
On the one hand, some guys might save their marriage by waiting indefinitely whereas another guy could have saved it had he been bit more aggressive and appearing to care but he waited instead and eventually gave up, moved on, starting dating or whatever before waiting would have worked.
Again, just my opinion. The tad more aggressive guys that saved their marriage seem to me to have better recoveries.
Now next weeks episode: what is "A tad more aggressive"?
Have a safe weekend.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
