I've had this piece of paper in my wallet since a few weeks after BD and for some reason your situation made me think of it. Its something I've been thinking about for the last week also since I'm at that point as-well of letting go.
I have no clue where I printed it off, or who wrote it, but it seems it could be useful for you right now also. Information you likely already know, but its good to read it again. The fear part is important because you are in a position where you want to do something to save it, but it will come across as pressure and control.
"The one thing that might save it is to let go. Step back, put the focus on yourself for a while, work on any issues you might have, get yourself into a physically and mentally healthy place. No begging her to come back, no desperate phone calls or emails. When you communicate, keep it about necessary business with your children, finances, whatever.
Letting go requires overcoming fear, and fear often leads to controlling, which often happens without our even realizing it. When things become controlling the other usually wants to escape.
It sounds like shes's growing and healing long-term wounds. She needs the room to grow. You have to give her that room.
She may not come back, just accept it. The best shot at overcoming is letting go and if she comes back, she will come back on her own."
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
