Tone down the gifts! A card and the spa date are enough and those things can be from you and the children. No flowers. You don't want to over do the "knight" on the white horse stuff.
Keep things simple and don't have expectations as to what you think she do or not do in the way of reactions.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
