Texting an OW just makes the most sense...yes it could be porn or something else...not gambling. I'm sure he is not texting OW everytime I think he is....for example today I thought he may be and he showed me pic his buddy sent him. For right now I just need to figure out how to let it go, which is very difficult.
I think it's time for me to pull back but have to have a coaching session first. It seems recently, when I've made myself available (re hanging out on lanai) he is pulling back. So I'm going to say that is not working.
Tonight D13 has a dance at school, he is dropping her off, probably going out (he sprayed some cologne before he left) and then will pick her up at 9. I made sure since I have softball.
there has always been things going on in life (never a good time) his back, Christmas, end of the school year, vacation that I have kept using as excuses to put off any confrontations. There will always be something, right now I'm leaning toward after he gets back from vacation (which will be sometime after us) of just telling him I can't live this way anymore, that it isn't what I want but if he doesn't want to put any effort into this marriage that he needs to tell the kids and find a place of his own. I know I'm a great person with a lot to offer someone, I would like it to be him but at some point enough is going to be enough. I also plan on being physically in better shape so he can eat his heart out!
Ok, so I know that's a ways a way and who knows what will happen between now and then and I know I change my mind a few times a month....
On a positive note I found a new book (audio for the car). I've been listening to podcasts on how to save your marriage and 5LL in the car. Was looking for a new book and as I was looking decided I wanted a break from those geared toward marriage...I found "Spartan Up!" If you are familiar with the Spartan Obstacle Races the author is one of the founders of that. I'm only a few chapters in but so far it's a great choice. It's about overcoming obstacles...:)
Have a great weekend everyone!
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
