So you wanting to know the latest development in my sitch?
Crickets....... silence.....nothing.....
I have gone dark, she has gone dark, only communication is through text or gmail and that is kid related only.
The quietness is downright spooky. Still, always deep down is the fear that I am driving her further and further and further away from me with my non pursuit.
I have read Solo Partner and again, no pursuit, so that is what I am doing. I am not a 100% pursurer but probably for the last few years I have been in pursuit even though I did not know it.
Upon reflection she was giving me messages that indidcated she wanted distance.
#1. Why don't you go out with your friends (a meet up in Las Vegas with high school friends from 30 years ago). I said Meh. She even said I am ready for you to take a vacation.
#2. She started going out with the much younger crowd - work folks for happy hours more and more. I didn't say anything becuase I was respecting her need for "space". I stayed home with the kids, put them bed, etc and settled in with a good book on those nights.
#3. She volunteered constantly, I even got a fridge magnet that said "Stop me before I volunteer again" and we laughed about it. Looking back, clearly she was wanting space even though she did not acknowledge it. She was gone from the house a lot on volunteering projects - chuch, school, work, you name it, she volunteered for it and even volunteered me for it until I asked her to not do that. I would volunteer for what I wanted to and treasured my off time - meaning of work time.
#4. We stopped carpooling to work and pick up drop off kids. It was just too stressful trying to get us all corralled. So I did the morning run and she did the afternoon pick ups. I thought it was working pretty well, but again, this is clearly distancing behavior on her part.
#5. She complained about the heaviness of kids wearing her down and how hard it was to do thing. We were referred to on several occassions as her long term obligations.
So many missed clues Urgh! She is probably relishing all of this freedom now (mindreading I know).
