Cali, I might see you at Little Italy I like 75 degrees and the sun, but we needed some rain here...
Sounds like you are making some progress with W. I think honest talk about the issues and feelings is absolutely essential in a healthy marriage. I was not good at it, neither was my H after about 3 years of marriage. We were able to do it at the beginning, somehow. Then life happened... with all the accumulated hurt feelings, resentment, unresolved disagreements, etc.
I would ask for you to be “softer” too. And I think you made an attempt at it. Good for you! Love reading your posts, BTW.
BF .. we need more rain, I work tonight and they have an early game scheduled for S tomorrow morning ... selfish of me sure, but would not break my heart if they called the game off ...lol
That was one of the heart to hearts when she decided "she wanted to try" with the M. We acknowledged like you said .. our communication left a bit to be desired, as well as 'us' time .... like you said life happens and then you poke your head out and whammo, you never realize how bad it was as you just became used to it.
The softer side thing, Its not like I am a total harda$$ but in a way I can see it ... and outside looking in I can also see she almost needs to know I will not punish her for all the MLC darkness things that she did, not that I am looking to but she had said a few choice things repeatedly that at some point I need to get cleared up, if that's how she felt ok lets address it, if it was just spew to hurt me, mission completed ... I do not think sweeping things under the rug will get us where we would like to be, but I know working on these things is not something she is looking forward to.
I caught a similar vibe with Raines story ... seems there is a time and place for these things and I do feel it is not time yet, seems to me I am in a good place, I have the luxury of knowing a bit about what she went through, she is still dazed and trying to figure out where she is ... like waking up from a druken night out ... "where am I , what happened, I did WHAT? Oh my ... I can not face people" So yes .. I have to be gentle but at the same time firm. Seems I am getting better at this I just have to continue to not fully open that box of pain and hurt, it all has to be in small amounts and dealt with as such.
I like 75 degrees and the sun, but we needed some rain here...
