Exactly. I just wrote this on Lucy's thread and I think it applies somewhat to you...
"The Solo Partner is a great book that talks about the Pursuer/Distancer Dynamic. The only way to get to a Distancer is by turning the table. Make the Distancer become the Pursuer by the Pursuer becoming the Distancer."
Have a fun camping Defacto!
I've seen this book recommended so many times, I figured it was time to order it. Done. Thanks for the support and recommendation!
The ACTION of going away and being out of reach is actually a distancing type action and this book is basically a strategy for getting your spouse back by being a "distancer" and having your wife innately then "pursue" you as a result.
I was just tying to sell it to you as a way to make her think when this distancer/pursuer angle probably would work better. She's got no reason to pursue you at all right now...she's still got you in her pocket everyday. Getting away and out of cell service is just a taste of what life will really be like (for her AND you) and may stimulate her inner pursuer. May not...either way, you'll legitimately have a nice weekend with your kid and without having to "journal" what your wife said and talked about.
I wouldn't recommend buying the book (I don't want you to ever be that divorced guy with 25 books on his wall about how to get his cheating ex-wife back ~~~ maybe, part of detaching might be to be discerning about what you choose to read). It's essentially an ebook and kind of an easy concept that you can get from Michele's books about detaching and by reading up on DB's discussion of the Mr. DeLuca's book. Here's an old DB thread on the subject The Dance of Pursuit Solo Partner DB Thread :
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
