Feeling so hopeless

[Lucy105]

I have a question that I could use some help with. My H is supposed to be coming over in the next week to pick up our second lawn mower to use at the restaurant. I'm not sure what to do, should I be here, communicate with him, act positive and complimentary, leave to meet friends??? I'm fine with him being here without me, I trust he will not harm anything here, or take more than he is supposed to take.

I have been working really hard to be positive with him, friendly, complimenting. But he is still with her, and I am realizing this is in fact, and addiction for him. She is not a nice person, and not someone he would normally be drawn to, but he's not thinking logically right now I guess. I have been communicating with him positively, and kindly for 3 weeks now. I think he still cares a great deal for me, and enjoys my communication with him, but I think his addiction to her is preventing him from leaving her.

I had plans to detach from him last week, but he contacted me for a couple restaurant business favors, and then my DB coach had me send out the letter to him after some positive communication.

The letter generated a very positive reaction, I felt, it was the first time he'd picked up the phone to call me since he left, and he was very friendly. But part of me still believes his addiction to her is in full swing, and preventing him from leaving her. I believe he knows he needs to, he told members of our staff that he was going to, because she's an alcoholic, but something is keeping him from following through.

At this point, I wonder if I should take communication from him, if I should say anything to him, or what I should do? I feel I definitely need to detach now, especially after the letter was well received. I know he cares for me, but I feel his addiction is keeping him tied to both me and her.

Thoughts please, I could really use the advice, I'm very confused right now. I feel like we are right on the cusp of change, and I just don't feel like me continuing to stroke his ego will do the job if he is truly addicted to her. He can't have both.