That is a tough situation, and yes, no sense getting worked up over things out of your control.
A funny story about a client I had in your situation. I dont necessarily recommend this, but it worked out for him. He found out that "online EA partner" was flying in Friday night when she was claiming to take a girl's out weekend trip. He texted his wife that he had to work and just never came home Friday. He also told the babysitter to not watch the kids no matter what. She ended up bringing the man - who she had never met in person and who had a record - to the house and told the kids to stay in their rooms all weekend. So my client came back, but his wife wouldnt let him in. He called the cops, they came, threw OM out, and by Tuesday he had exclusive use of the home and emergency custody.
His ww, who was a long-term SAHM had to negotiate away most spousal support, the house and his pension in order to get 50-50.
