The bad news is the good news. (disclaimer- I am speculating here, there are NO crystal balls, I'm just trying to get the right sense of proportion here)
The bad news is that this is a long journey. There is no 'falling into each other's arms' like some romantic comedy. You will have to tear down the structure that you two had built, go through the grieving process of the loss of your M, forge forward with a new independent life...and just when you don't need him anymore, that's when he'll have a chance to see the consequences of the decisions he's making. From there, he may go on another journey of his own growth, and at after that there may come a time when he looks back to you and questions his path. IF this all happens, AND you are in a spot where you feel his growth is real, he's not the same person he was during the M and at BD, then you might have the chance to start piecing. This is another 6-24 months of hard work, during which old wounds surface and the bad can overwhelm the good. But eventually for those that make it they have a new, better M, built for both parties to be fulfilled, and ready to endure the ages. So all in it could truly be a 2-4 year journey, and there are no guarantees. And unfortunately you will suffer for a while, there is no way out of the loss today.
But the good news is that since this is the case, tomorrow is really insignificant in this process. He'll say what he says because that's how he feels today. This is NOT a court hearing where the verdict will be determined and sentencing passed, because in a court hearing if someone gets 10 years in prison that person is going to jail. The difference is regardless of what your H says it is NOT written in stone, he will go on his journey and his feelings will evolve just as yours do. Look at this meeting more as checking the weather. It may be stormy now, but this is not proof that the end is here.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
