WAH with one foot out the door and one in.

[Zues126]

BW, I'm sorry you're in that spot. We see it here daily but As are so destructive it blows me away that people go down that road. I know they tell themselves the "R is over" like that changes what they're doing. OK. Breathing deep.

I understand how you feel, like doing nothing is being a doormat and letting him cake eat. So let me explain different kinds of "doing nothing".

If you are doing nothing about the A, crying in bed, sobbing on your girlfriends' shoulders, trying to pursue/beg/plead, allowing him to cake eat by being there for physical and emotional support when he feels like throwing a few scraps your way, spending your days trying to read his mind and allowing your mood to be controlled by how you read into his tone, or whether his watch is on, and overall putting your life on hold hoping he changes...that is a bad "doing nothing".

But if you are doing nothing about the A, but detaching, refusing to get involved with his drama, getting a life and rediscovering the parts of yourself that were neglected for so long, reconnecting with friends, learning to set appropriate boundaries not to control or punish but to protect yourself, and doing more and more to take control of your life with or without your H...that is a good "doing nothing".

Stop waiting and hoping he'll change. Go live your life with or without your WAH. You can do it. You're early in your sitch but it can absolutely be done.