I am giving the wife the benefit of the doubt on motive... I cannot live in fear of wife leaving at every moment. I will be absolutely crushed without question if she does leave, but I need to live my life and if wife wants to Join me for now, and she can see what kind of man I'm becoming, then I will be more than happy to let her.
in any event, she was to the point of leaving after almost 14,years of marriage and piles of resentment. I have been trying to figure things out for a couple of years but really, REALLY working on myself for 6+ months...and I'm not even done. It is going to take time in the best of circumstances for my wife to return to a point where she can trust who I am now vs. The grumpy whatever I've been.
That is how I've decided to move forward, I need to lower some walls and be a bit vulnerable to be able to show true love back to wife. When I spoke about this with IC he was excited about these developments and said I should be cautious...he also said that it would take a truly evil soul to go these lengths to TRY to decieve to the level wife would have to be right now and if that were the case when I found out would i really want that woman anymore...I said that I would not.
