When I think about my stich with my MLCer W and I read someone else's sitch like this... Really? Cambodia?
I swear if this were a horror movie then it would be the same evil spirit possessing all of the MLCers... If it were a scifi movie then it would be aliens or something like the Borg... If it were a combo scifi horror flick then maybe some brain parasite or a virus...
How else to explain the same script and very similar crazy ideas, actions, and insane/irrational thoughts?
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Just an update - in part to let everyone know I'm still reading all sitches - just really pushed to find time to post.
Also, things have been pretty hard lately and I didn't want to bring everyone down.
My dad died a few days ago and we are burying him tomorrow. I can't really seem to grasp that it's real, but I think this is pretty standard.
He's been sick for a long time - Parkinson's and he was 90 years old.
We sat with him in the hospital for around 12 days since he developed aspiration pneumonia from being unable to swallow. A pretty grim way to go... you can't eat and at 90, hospital staff are not keen to try the feeding options.
He was unconscious for the last two days and it was hard watching over him. I was so afraid, at first.
I've written his eulogy and organised the funeral. Just have to go to the damned thing tomorrow. I'd really rather not. Is that awful? S16 says the same thing. I keep thinking how i took myself off to D court and got through that. . .
Out of the blue, I got a call from XH yesterday demanding that i get the kids to call him. He didn't say why.
When D19 returned his call, he announced that his dad, their other grandfather, was being operated on today for a brain tumour. He didn't ask about my dad, although he must know (from MIL) that he was near death.
The kids are in a state of weird otherness. I think we all are.
Meantime, S16's school has hit me with a bill for $20,000 of unpaid fees from the previous 2 years that XH was supposed to have paid, but did not - unbeknownst to me.
Their lawyers have sent a letter of demand indicating that, as I co-signed the enrolment form 14 years ago, I am liable for any unpaid fees, regardless of what a court-ordered settlement says about both parents sharing payment of fees.
XH knows how to play the system - he has no assets in his name and is self-employed. Therefore the only one who creditors can come after is me.
I'm OK, I think. Just thankful that I seem to have switched into survival mode and have a sense that things are not real. Don't know how long that might last.
Not looking for sympathy, just wanted to let everyone know that after you've been through a spouse's mlc, you eventually get the feeling that you can pretty much cope with anything.
I just patiently try to deal with whatever comes my way these days. SO different to how I used to be.
I am very sorry to hear that your father passed away. It's never easy to watch a parent slowly leave this earth. Right now, your focus will need to be on the funeral and supporting your children thru this sorrowful event. Please take care of yourself.
As for your xh, the next time he calls demanding that the kids call him, tell him that he needs to deal w/them directly. They are old enough to make decisions about whether or not they want to speak w/him.
He really needs to call 1-800-Stupid. What an insensitive @sshole.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts in prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job and Bklyn, I really appreciate your support.
I'm concentrating now on catching up on all the home and work jobs that I haven't had time for in the last 2 weeks. A bit scary - I'm feeling overwhelmed. Also keeping a close eye on the kids.
We cope with the stress the best we can Now is the time to just try to take care of yourself and the kids making sure you are resting sleeping exercising eating all things will pass
I remember at one point my XH seemed to spend everything in sight our business was in the negative and I was unsure how much I would be responsible for at the same time my mother was also dying somehow I got through it and miraculously everything has worked out in my life for the best continue to do the right things and take care of yourself somehow life has a way of working out
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I do not achieve as much self growth when everything is smooth
I look back on that time as a good time during my H MLC I saw how strong I am,,I pulled it together My relationships all everyone of them got better and stronger(except myEX) My kids are both on good paths and I am grateful There is a lot of help all over to guide us It is our choice how we handle the crises but most people on this site seem to come through it for the better and u will to peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I haven't been posting for a while - I thought I was getting to a point where I'd moved on.
Just looking for a bit of perspective, i suppose... feel like I might be catastrophizing, but I'm upset for my kids (D19 & S16).
XH's father - their grandfather - died last week after months under palliative care with cancer and brain tumour. They were not told any details about his funeral.
I am finding it very hard to believe that people could be so cruel as to exclude grandchildren from such a family event.
