I am so so sorry for all of this. In my view, you truly deserve a healthy woman who has a good dollop of self-respect and self-worth. She's out there. I have a good male friend who remarried last year to a lovely woman after being married to his XW for almost 19 years who is a gambler and drove an ugly wedge between him and his grown sons.
OMG...the damage his XW did to his relationship with his sons was destructive. The oldest two has come around and recognized what their mother did. His 17-year old son has sided with his mother. My friend is truly sad about this son.
Get out while you can and heal from all of this drama.
