I'm sure she's acting nice because she doesn't want me to upset her weekend with the affair partner.
That's EXACTLY right.
She's been priming and primping for this weekend likely for a month now (I just read back to your original thread about her working out and buying new clothes).
It's likely this affair never ended and here you are beating yourself up about backsliding on your changes. You never had a chance as long as she remained in contact with OM behind your back.
Is OM married???? Tell his wife. Though I highly doubt it didn't go physical years ago (she sounds like a serial cheater), just in case they haven't yet and THIS is supposed to be the big weekend for them...at least telling the OM's wife might help protect their marriage (or just her) from this actually escalating.
If you do divorce....consider taking OM's deposition and documenting the full relationship over the last several years. Your wife is always going to be vested in making this divorce about you and your behavior. It'd be nice to have documentation that states otherwise.
Also ~~~ North Carolina is a "Alienation of Affection" state. You COULD sue OM for interfering in your marriage. Document this weekend's visit. Google alienation of affection and North Carolina and read up on the law. He was living in that state while using his computer and phone to interfere in your marriage. It might be possible to sue him for his behavior in North Carolina.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
