Thanks Roosts. I am plowing forward. Trying to keep focus on me and what I need to do to gain real happiness in my life. It occured to me the other night that historically I'd be willing to run the lengths of the earth for someone else to try to gain favor / affection / whatever and would never even try that for myself. How stupid in retrospect right? I recall so many instances where if we were out of something that wife or kids wanted (not necessarily needed) I'd run to the store or 'stop off on the way home, no problem' to get X. Never did I make a special trip for myself. I would just pout or gripe and suck it up because 'oh well' no biggie. I have started to learn to appreciate my wants a bit more and have started to make sure I check in everyday and ask what I want today...been actually doing that more and more.
As far as.keeping busy...been filling up the schedule crazy busy!!! Not all is for me, have kids stuff to attend to, but I've actually skipped a couple of soccer games last week to go hang out with some friends for the afternoon.
One weird thing...the more I do, it seems the wife has been more than willing to do these things too. With a few exceptions, she has wanted to join me in my plans. Last 3 months: ice fishing, snow shoeing, kayaking, country line dancing, movies, archery class, breweries, fishing with the kids, swimming, gym training... She joined me in all of these activities. She even scheduling a paint n brew event in couple weeks with my brothers n wives for us. I've gone golfing which she almost went with (she went once with me when we were in highschool) and a bunch of time when I am upstairs practicing guitar she has visited me to watch...lays on the bed and watches me practice guitar. Crazy right? I am still looking for more things to do to find / reconnect with friends...something I am really trying to do. I've never been good at making new friends for some reason. My twin, he was the stud, the everyone's friend. I coat tailed a lot of friendships from him. Now I know I need to break this ground on my own.
Thanks for listening...intend to be verbose... A little too much so.
