I'm so sorry that the hits keep coming at you from all directions.
I have dealt with IRS for business reasons. You need a representative to assist you through this process. How this works is that you request an Advocate to represent you. Please look into this for your own protection.
As for W making more $$ than you, I'd go for palimony. You cannot be a weakling here anymore. Time to bare your teeth and GO after what you are entitled to after 20+years of marriage. Surely your L can do this. Not sure if I like your L at all.
