Okay, my two cents worth and then I'll probably back out for awhile ...

I don't think that you not reaching out to her caused her to file. Which isn't the end, by the way. Just one step on a road that you don't know where it ends.

I think you actually did pretty good when you went out to dinner with her. I think you showed her a different side of you and gave her a glimpse that things could be different. Cuz they need to be different, you know that right?

But when she visited the apartment to see the cats and pick up some of HER things? Yeah, not good. All she saw was the same ol' controlling, always right Miman. That's where you need to start. Not arguing with Mr. Bond. This is all on you. And it's not easy man. Been there.

DB is long term hard work.

Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.