Naturally I find out (from her volunteering it) that she went alone. OM and friend both bailed on her. Got all friggin worked up about nothing. Gonna try to learn from that. Snooping always effs with my head and yet I can't stop myself when the going is rough. It's like my psychotic security blanket. So much better when I don't and I know it.
Anyway, doing ok right now. She's still super warm and friendly. And I still have a lot of hope. She hasn't herself talked about separation or anything this latest down period. We are still totally friendly, and sex isn't even off the table. Although I haven't been all that horny and I'm 180ing my 180 -- in other words she knows I'm super interested in her sexually now from the last 5 months (my horniness kind of became a running joke), so I'm backing off. Be interesting to see if she instigates at all.
I honestly have NO idea what is going through her head right now. I'm only as good as our last interaction, which makes for a rough ride. Have to find something that works for that wave of consuming panic that overtakes me.
Individual therapy tomorrow. Couples next Monday.
Me 37,W37 D8,D5 T20 years, M13 years BD-5/14 MC starts (continues)-9/14 EA discovered-10/14 Piecing(?)-11/14-5/14 "I just feel 'done'"-5/15 Trial S (I moved)-6/15/15
