My beliefs are what's messes up right now. After some thought though, the flirting isn't bad, helps to build confidence which I need to have. Taking it any further than that is just stupid. My belief in that is, that's just not right. But I feel into those traps before, I have little self control. It's always gotten me into trouble. I'm trying to work on that, but slip up every once in a while. Now if I'm ever in a committed relationship again, I know that flirting and being that way is not right. But for the old one the damage is done. Can't do anything about it but move forward.
I have my very big downsides, but I just want to be loved and love in return. I'm always so scared of being hurt or being left alone, that it just breeds my insecurities to such a high level. I basically ruined something good over this, how can I fix it? That's what I keep asking myself right now. And there is not an answer out there, because you can't fix everything. Sometimes once it's broke, it's broke, no glue, no tape, no nothing is going to fix it.
