Sorry! Can't believe I didn't mention that YES I am in individual counseling as well. Hasn't been long with the current counselor (the first one was not a good fit at all and I took a little break while things were so "good" again).
No sexual abuse.
It sure FEELS like I am feeling! I'm definitely controlling, and I think a lot of the analyzing right now comes from that... The fact that I have no control of my life here. Or rather, trying to find some way to take control of it in a positive fashion.
Or if I'm being totally honest, trying to control the situation to get her to stay. Which is ultimately futile if there's no love and she can't heal from what I have put her through.
I've been thinking of writing her a fulsome apology letter to read at our next counseling session. Admitting the emotional abuse, apologizing, telling her that I totally understand now where her first letter came from, how I stomped all over our relationship. There's no quick fix... if there even is a fix at all. That kind of thing.
Me 37,W37 D8,D5 T20 years, M13 years BD-5/14 MC starts (continues)-9/14 EA discovered-10/14 Piecing(?)-11/14-5/14 "I just feel 'done'"-5/15 Trial S (I moved)-6/15/15
