Part 19 - keeping on keeping on

[edz]

Thanks Toots (and I appreciate the hug today )

Im not too worried and hopefully it comes across that Im not knocked down and in a ball like I used to be at every silence or back step, really not now though overall Im not sure why or what changed in my atic.

Indeed MIL/FIL are visiting w/s today after lots and lots of delays on them coming over (nb there, nothing to do with me or my place). On monday w said she had rehersed and was writing it in her head so it wouldnt suprise me if it was playing on her mind. Honestly I dont believe she will go there today although it may be ramping up aprehension in her.

Could be other things entirely as you say Toots. Its a long road and I do worry she's made herself a rod by saying Christmas we'll be all settled, thats 234 days (me, count, nah) in that time to overcome her natural aprehension over (as you say) re-entry to the marriage, deal with the real terror she has on MIL, officially tell s (although he can see us hold hands, hug etc and isnt daft so Im not particularly worried although I appreciate her worry on impact on him if it fell apart again) thats kind of a lot to shoulder for her, I've told her theres not a rush and to keep talking.

On top of all that, parcticalities wise, she has a two month notice on her tennancy (yes, with her mum), for christmas she'd have to give her mum direct notice in september no later and that assumes a december move. If it goes south with their relationship I can imagine w getting the same poisoned pen letters I got on carpets and whatever, wouldnt shock me if she did to indirectly get to me. All this will be playing on w's mind I imagine.

Yes this is all overthought but I know w's mind, I suspect she may be driving herself into a small panic on what has to happen by when. I have (being me) already run the dates to myself it makes much more sense to slow down worrying about a new place etc and focus on herself but right or wrong mr fixit stays in his box unless w asks for him. I'm all about being patient right now.

As I said to w, if we both want this I have faith in us.

I appreciate all the positive vibes guys, its a long road and a waltz has steps back throughout.