I read through your threads. Sorry you are going through this. I am also sorry how fast things have been moving. Are you sure you want to move out? I know you have bad memories and triggers in that house, but you may be able to have it both ways: Ask your W to leave (as Wonka suggested), remain in the house for now, THEN move somewhere else on your own terms.
It kills me how the WW has so much time to prepare and plan (e.g. meet with L and think about D), and the LBS is completely blindsided. Your sitch is so new, and you have been through so much already. Considering all this, you are doing great. Keep it up.
Thanks. I'm positive I want to move out and have no desire to stay in the house. Ironically me making the decision to move out is on my own terms as she wanted me to stay until the house was sold. We'll see what happens after the move out and while I go dark. Still not sure how to interact with her and have to take it day by day. Can't be a dick but can't be a friend. Moving out will be a lot easier where I can have my head cleared and enjoy getting a life.
If anything ever does ge better for us down the road I know we'd need a fresh start away from the house anyway. She asked me if I contacted any real estate agent and I told her no. I'm not going to do any of that work for her, she can handle that
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Also it will just make the ability to gal easier as there will be days and weekends without the kids. When I have been gal and not thinking about her and om its been great. Im really starting to get to a point where I feel over time I can evaluate what I really want and if my ww is really someone I can ever trust again. Righ now I'm constantly torn by hurt and still loving her
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
No. Actually it can't. Already reviewed with my attorney and the temporary order she filed had custody plans outlined which will also set a precedent for future. It's 100% 50/50. We have 2 weekdays and alternate weekends, but also weekdays. Example: I have them Monday Tuesday. She has them Wednesday Thursday. I have them Friday Saturday Sunday. The next week is reversed. We both agree to that and that is what filed.
As far as child support and payments, I am fine with paying everything for the boys since is do that now. That would and should also reduce any alimony she is wanting, but that's a separate issue and not about co parenting.
When it comes to the boys I believe and never doubt we can put our [censored] aside to focus on them because we both agree they deserve that and they are innocent. They deserve to have a loving mom and loving dad and not each other putting the other one down, which also wouldn't happen.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Ugh. Thought I was doing ok and detaching. Growing more indifferent towards what she was doing. However, she has been working out now and told me she has plans after work. NOT going out with her best friend, but "plans".
This is why moving out is for me. It will allow me to focus on me and my boys, without having seemingly small interactions cripple me, even momentarily.
I cannot go dark in the same house and I cannot block her our in the same house. I will be able to as I move on.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
So hard to do this neighbor stuff. It's not me. It's easier to be angry and treat her like [censored] because she's hurt me but I know that solves nothing. And I can't be friends or nice because that's my boundary. So it's just distance and awkwardness. I don't know how I lived like this for so long.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
