WAS asked for divorce today.

[aNewGuy]

So, I hired an attorney to review the case. My wife is not asking for anything more, asset wise, from me.

What she is doing, however, is continuing to pester me about the papers. Every time she writes me a text message about something else, anything... it is followed up with questions about when I will sign the papers, have I read the papers, did I get the papers to my attorney (since I just hired one, her lawyer did not know he needs to communicate with my lawyer), can we go together to sign the papers (Yes, she asked me that!), etc. about the papers!

I cannot begin to describe what a knot it puts in my chest to see these messages coming from my wife! Yesterday I was doing quite well at work and having a very good day when she again asked me something about the papers!

I responded by saying, "Look, there is nothing I can do in our state from getting what you want, and there is nothing that either one of us can do to make it go any faster, geez! What's the rush?"

Obviously, she responded angrily. She said she felt slighted that I had an attorney because she was still the same person and wouldn't cheat me and that it's already hard enough that she has to see me every day while trying to work through this.

A little while later she wrote again and said she was sorry she got angry.

I responded to that saying "How come, it was honest. I am sorry you are hurting".

She wrote back to that saying she is not necessarily hurting but that the failure of our marriage does hurt and looking at me and knowing that this is not what I want makes her feel guilty. She goes on to say that she made the right choice but that doesn't mean it was an easy one.

It really is hard to focus on GAL when all this is occurring, but I am liking the fact that while she is talking on facebook about her gym membership, I am quietly walking several miles and doing a ton of rigorous exercise (moved about 5000 pounds of block and soil by hand the other day) at my second job. I can't believe the difference I am already starting to see in the mirror, at first I was tired and literally in pain but now I am actually seeking out those tasks that require strength. It's a far cry from the office jobs I have held over the past seven years!

So here is what's next: I can either sit back and not go sign these papers until they absolutely must be signed (sometime in July). Or I can go in and sign them right away. The only thing she is asking for that I don't agree with is the divorce itself. In fact, with her being in such a hurry, I think I might protect my interests financially ...by asking the judge to waive the waiting period. She really expects me to make this difficult on her - that's not my goal, my goal is to reconcile. But if she is going to continue stinking up all of our more pleasant interactions by talking about these papers every time, why should I not just go ahead and give her what she wants while the only thing she wants is nothing? I guess I just fear that waiting this thing out till the end of July with her repeatedly asking me about these papers is risky for me - 1st because something might change and cause her to ask for things that aren't hers, and 2nd because I might literally have a heart attack and die because of all the stress related to even thinking about signing these papers!

I guess basically I am saying there is nothing to fight in this besides the divorce itself, and in this state there is no stopping it. Slowing it down will only serve to tick her off, right? I can't make her stay, she does not want to do counseling so asking the court to require it would likely only make her resent me, and right now the agreement she is proposing would be approved by the court and would properly cover both of our behinds.

Ugh.

Writing that out makes me feel like perhaps my best option here is still to just delay signing the papers and tell her she will just have to trust me that if July gets here and she still wants them signed, I will do so.

Along with a note asking her to not ask me about them again until that time comes.