Bright, I'm glad to see that you are reading up on depression. Sounds like he's trying to work w/you on the vacation home dates. That's a start in the right direction. It sounds like whatever anger he had during the first portion of his crisis has finally settled down.
As for replay, it can take many shapes and the duration can either be short on lengthy. In your h's case, it's lengthy...but I still think it was a very slow entrance into his crisis and w/him being gone a lot, it gave him more time to "think" about things before he finally took off into his crisis.
Continue to read up on male depression. I think you'll discover more info that will fit some of what your h is going through.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
