Heather, I suggest that you "explore" those feelings that you have concerning abandonment, anger, etc. w/an IC. If you can't afford an IC, then maybe your minister/pastor of your church will be of help to you or assist you in finding someone to talk to. You have some serious issues that need to be worked through and resolved in order for you to find inner peace and happiness. It's important that you get to the root of why you feel the way you do.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
