Surrendering this battle to win the war.

[Zues126]

[quote=Pyrite]Thanks Smothy, you too. I never imagined anything so hard. It seems like the past is crapped all over, the future is upside-down, and the present is just rubbing it in.
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This^^ is 100% perception. YES it is. (I know you are already arguing "but no, it's reality and it's unfair to ME and I am hurt"...)

But if another person were to look at your past, they might see a man with 2 healthy children and a job, selling a home and those 3 FACTS alone (your wife cannot change those) make you a fortunate man.

Thanks Py. It's a treat to know that we can help each other along this path.

What 25 says is really powerful. Being appreciative is something I think we need to do DAILY. I remember thinking of it this way: If I look at God and say "God, you gave me healthy children, a successful and challenging career that allows me to provide for my loved ones, good friends, and talents and gifts to share with the world...but I want my M back, and if I can't have it the rest of this is a bunch of crap and I won't be happy!"...if you can't be happy with this life you have...one woman won't change that. (PS- I know you don't believe in God in the same sense as most people, but guess what...neither do I. I use the word because it's easier than trying to explain our own beliefs...it doesn't really matter).

I also know you have gotten into Buddhism and meditation and different times. So have I. One of my favorite Buddhist story is about a man that traveled the world to see the Buddha. He finally got an audience, and proceeded to tell the Buddha all about his problems. His family problems. His crops. His finances. Etc. Buddha calmly nodded.

Finally the Buddha said "I can't help you". The man was upset and asked what he meant. Buddha replied "Everyone has problems. 83 problems to be exact. And there's nothing you can do about it. If you work hard you can solve one, but another will appear in it's place. For example, you're going to lose all of your loved ones at some point, we'll all die. Now that's a problem no one can do anything about."

So the man was furious and asked what the point of being wise was!

Buddha told him he could help with his 84th problem...the desire to not have any problems.


I think this story and appreciation go hand in hand. Spend less time fixing, and more time appreciating.

Glad you're having fun DBing Py...someday you'll look at this period as the bootcamp that made you the person you always wanted to be.