So after reading my DB books again and the board posts again, I realize that jeez this still blows. Does it get better or worse the longer you are in. On one hand it's bette becuase the pain of it is lessened over time. On the other hand it's worse because it just prolongs the limbo. I don't believe in dating anyone as long as I am married. That is just my personal line in the sand.
8 months in and WW still in full blown affair, and talks non stop about D. I think she is realizing this is going to be a loooonnggg process. In her mind however, we are divorced, and done. Over and out.
I am still working the plan, keeping cool, trying to follow the great advice I have been given and generally keeping it together.
Sometimes I think I see baby steps and sometimes I feel like I have reversed course.
We did have a phone convo today and the anger seems to be gone from her voice, but she still talked about D and my lawyer this and can't wait to get to the D.
I don't ask any questions about OW, don't question her, just chit chat. We did talk logistics about summer camp options and decisions. It's a lot of planning involved.
I saw on our family spread sheet that she had marked in Trip to XX for a week with her and the kids. We had agreeed and abide by the "if the kids go out of state, the parent must ask and get consent in writing." This is what we agreed upon in writing.
I mentioned this saying "Hey, I saw you were planning a trip to XX"? I was a little surprised to see this as we hadn't talked about it. She got defensive and said well this was just for planning purposes, do you have a problem with it?
Me: No problem, I just thought we we agreed to ask and get consent from one another before we made any plans, I was just surprised that's all.
This is the second time she has done this, put an out of state trip on the calendar before she even asked me. I have always asked her and obtained consent before putting a trip on the calendar. She emailed me later saying that this seemed "odd" and "controlling". We talked again and I said I can see where you think this may be controlling but please be patient, I am working out a lot of schedule, today is crazy at work and I am feeling overwhelmed. Could I give you my answer tomorrow and she said OK.
So, that's the reason for my back to square 1 comment from earlier today.
