Life after D - 01 - going from dark to light

[gogofo]

Had an emotional moment last night. My oldest had been eating around an nursing a loose tooth all weekend, it was pretty close to come out. Well last night the XW sent a video of him playing with it and then two pictures of it out. It hit me hard and is getting me again as I type this.

I am sad that I do not get to experience these things with him because of the D. It makes me mad and makes me feel like everyone is cheated out of a more full filling life. Made me sad not to be there. I have only been there for one of his teeth.

I responded with a simple "thanks". She responded with "Tried to get him to save it for you but he played with it all night". That one got my blood boiling. Unfortunately the D makes it impossible for me to be there for all milestones in his life and it makes me feel cheated. I did not respond. I just sat and cried for 10 minutes.

The good thing is that I am able to work through these feelings quicker than before and they don't ruin me for a day or two.