No, I don't think she wants to reconcile and don't want to even pretend that she does or that she wants to end her A. She does "not regret a thing" and "would do it over again" if given the chance. Ouch. She just wants me to play along, roll over and not make a stink. She seems to get off on being mean but I can handle it a lot better now. I just let it roll off my back.
No... Right now she does not want any of that, what MLCrs tend to want is for you to stay put, excactly where they left you, and if you seem miserable even better. You will notice they will not care for you to be happy without them.
Why is it called cake eating if they have already left? Cake eating is for when they are still in the Marriage isn't it?
I have been separated for almost 2 years and I assure you plenty of cake eating went on, she should look like that big blue girl in Willy Wonka by now, some of this I allowed, some I refused ... as with all things trust your gut and pick your battles.
I do think the more I respond to her, the madder it makes her. That is not my goal of course, but it protects me so that is a good thing. She keeps cyclinbg back to either kick me or punch me "metaphorically" speaking and to see what response it gets.
The response she gets now is nothing. I tell her nothing, ask her nothing and respond with nothing. Except where kids are involved, and then it's very short, cordial and then goodbye.
In my heart, I feel she has made her decision, which fuels my decisions which is a vicious cycle.
I am letting my L deal with it now.
^^^ Yup .. often we need to use that anger to propel us forward on our own path, while they stay stuck in the tunnel, its on them to figure out how to move forward ... I think for many LBSs we tend to use anger to get us over a hurdle, its healthy provided you refuse to live there.
